The Space Between

For the women trying to live life in the space between it all.

Tag Archives: sassytoddlers

For when you tried your best.

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Oh sweet momma, today you rocked it. You kept the kids busy. You didn’t turn on the TV once. You painted, you danced, you played doctor, you played with playdough, you colored a card for someone who’s sick, you let them paint some more, you kept your cool, you didn’t let the series of unfortunate events get to you. Thing after thing happened but you didn’t break. Not today, Satan. Nothing seems to go right but you’re trying your hardest to make the best of it. But you’re only human and you’re only one person so naturally, it gets to you. Time for a mini meltdown. Or a huge one. Doesn’t matter.

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Why do I even try? Why is this so hard? Why can’t things just go how I want them to for once? Why does it seem like the universe is against me? Why can’t this just be easy?

 I have had those days. Trust me, I’ve had them. However, tomorrow is a new day. You get to start over again! Looking back, I know we had hard days when my second was first born and even my first was born, but I truly cannot remember the details of them. I can’t remember a specific bad day. I remember the good ones, oh do I remember the good ones! But the bad ones? Not so much. This is just a moment. An hour. A day. A week. A season. It always gets better. Sip on some coffee, snuggle with your kiddos and know that tomorrow will be better. Each day holds new hope and promises. You’ve got this.

You are capable. You are amazing. You are super mom. You are radiant. You are a rock star. (You totally rock!) You are incredible. You’ve. Got. This.

You pushed my buttons today.

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Toddler moms. HOW DO YOU DO IT. Man, oh man. I’m the mom of a 2.5 year old and a 5 month old. Two kids, two and under. Whew. I end my days questioning everything. Did I handle that situation correctly? Did I love them enough? Did they get my best self or just my leftovers? Was I patient enough?

 Why is being a mom so hard sometimes? Why do we question ourselves so much? My sweet and sassy toddler got in my face today, crinkled up her nose and said, “No momma!!!!” My emotions went from upset to angry to sad to dumbfounded. Oh, Audrey. You pushed my buttons today. I’m sitting, nursing Quinn and Audrey walks up to me. IMG_6097“Fruit snacks and water,” she demands. So I ask, “Can mommy have a hug?” “FRUIT SNACKS AND WATER!” she yells then runs away. OKAY. You pushed my buttons today. We pull into the garage, I go around to the driver’s side to get Audrey out. “DADDY GET ME!” Alrighty. You pushed my buttons today. “Audrey, I love you.” “No say I yuv you!” Sigh. You pushed my buttons today. And it continues. And yet somehow, at the same time, she has the sweetest heart of any toddler I’ve ever met. Tonight, we sang our bedtime songs and we get ready to pray so we ask Audrey if she’d like to pray. “God, thank you for mommy and daddy. Thank you for Kinnie. Thank you for our food. Thank you for cheese.” She peeks open one of her eyes, “What else?” she whispers. “And thank you for our blessings.” I’m constantly in awe of her amazing heart.

 

IMG_8628I find myself frustrated on a daily basis simply because I’m a strong-willed momma raising a strong-willed toddler. But days like today when she snuggles into momma and falls asleep while I rock her, I realize I must be doing something right. Days like today when her sister is crying, and she lays down next to her and rubs her head and tells her everything will be okay, I realize that in the midst of the hard, daily battles she makes my life complete. She pushes my buttons daily but she’s constantly pushing me to be better and she doesn’t even know it. She’s helped make me the person I am. Her sweet kindness and tender heart inspires me daily. She makes me a better person.

I think we go into parenthood thinking we do all the raising but in so many ways, we do a lot of the growing. I never thought I’d look at my 2.5 year old daughter and see the person I want to be. Someone who prays for others. Someone who thanks the Lord for cheese. Someone who consoles her sister instead of being jealous of the attention she requires. Someone who loves so incredibly well. I pray that she never loses that sweet and tender spirit. And I pray that she never stops teaching me how to love others and have that sweet child-like faith. I pray that she never stops pushing my buttons because I don’t ever want her to lose her fire – even though that fire may leave me grumbling to myself most days. I pray that she turns this world upside down and continues to love unconditionally. I pray that someday she realizes that she can change the world.

The Terrrrr-ific Twos

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Or maybe, the temper tantrum twos? I remember when Audrey turned two, my husband and I were ready for the “terrible twos” to start – we’ll say the terrific twos for the rest of this post. We were pregnant with our second – I think I was around 34 weeks pregnant with Quinn when Audrey turned two. We braced ourselves. But the “terrific” twos never came. Audrey was a joy. We got comments constantly about how well behaved she was. Everywhere we went people ranted and raved about our sweet girl. Theeeennnn her sister was born. Whew.

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I love my daughter with everything I have. But we’ve been struggling lately. I’ll be honest. I said I would be genuine and real, right? It’s not all sunshine and rainbows like the Facebook highlight reel suggests. There’s constant sass and attitude. Lots of back talk and hands on the hips yelling, “NO MOMMA!!!!” My parents laugh and tell me I’m raising myself. They say they can laugh because they survived my toddler and teenage years. My in laws laugh because they see so much of my husband in Audrey. I guess we had it coming. Some days I have grace and practice super mom-esque parenting but some days I match her sassy attitude a tenfold. Oops.

I posted on Facebook a while back because I was so in awe of Audrey’s sweet heart one day.

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I think you officially know you’re a mom when showering becomes an Olympic sport. Feed Quinn, toss her in the bouncer, start Bubble Guppies, then RUN to get your clothes and jump in the shower. Shower as fast as you possibly can while peeking out the shower curtain because you (think) you hear crying. Hurry and finish up and run back into the living room with sopping wet hair…only to find this beautiful sight. Audrey told me, “My sister was crying.” So she’s sitting there making silly faces at her to make her stop. My hair is wet, I’m out of breath but my heart is so so full.

Through all of it – the attitude, the temper tantrums, the sass (there’s SO MUCH SASS), the no napping, the pickiness, the “no momma,” and all of the not fun stuff, there’s moments like this. Moments where I’m reminded that my sweet toddler is just that – a toddler. She’s still learning who she is and how to control her emotions. She’s testing her limits and discovering the world. She’s doing exactly what toddlers do.

But even in the midst of all of the trials and tough stuff, I’m taken back to the sweet, beautiful moments. The moments where I see her true colors and the amazing girl she is. The moments where I realize that they really are the terrific twos.