The Space Between

For the women trying to live life in the space between it all.

Category Archives: Wife Life

My first week as a stay at home mom was a nightmare.

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I’m going to preface this by saying, I’m SO thankful I get to stay at home with my kids. It’s such an answer to many prayers and truly a blessing for us. However, I expected our first week to be sunshine and rainbows and it wasn’t. Not. Even. Close. It doesn’t even make any sense because I stayed home before, I just had additional kids to watch. You’d think it’d be easier! Nope. It wasn’t. My kids lost their routine. They lost their friends. Now we wake up when we want, we eat when we want. We’ve been doing the same thing every day for a long time and now everything is changing. Why did I decide to use this huge adjustment and transition period to potty train my two year old? Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment because holy moly it was the worst idea I’ve ever had.

It’ll be so great. I’ll be able to clean my house and go outside all the time and potty train Audrey and have dinner on the table when my husband comes home. The laundry will always be caught up and I’ll be able to meal prep and make gourmet breakfasts. What was I thinking? Why did I think this would be easy?

Audrey is a mess because she’s trying to adjust to a completely new day to day life and Quinn has done nothing but scream and cry all day every day since Monday. Genius idea to schedule 6 month shots that first week. Good job, Alli.

My poor husband didn’t come home to a clean house or a meal on the table or a happy wife. He came home to a tornado of a house after Hurricane Alli came through trying to do her home cooked meals and a shell of a very defeated wife. I haven’t even had time to write a blog post until now because I’ve been so busy adjusting and figuring things out.

I’m going to share a screenshot of a text my amazing husband sent me and hopefully he doesn’t get mad – just kidding, he won’t! I’m so thankful for his encouragement and support. He has made this difficult transition much easier with his encouraging words and being willing to clean our disaster house after his long work days.

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Can we all sing together? What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. Good job, guys! But seriously, how awesome is he?! I’m such a lucky lady!

Stay at home moms, I don’t know how you do it! We just finished up week 2 and it was much better but not any easier. My house is still a wreck. I’m hoping the ability to balance things and juggle will come with time. It does, right?!

When the Lord provides.

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For the past few months it’s been laid on my heart that I’m being called to be a stay at home mom. I’ll be perfectly honest, my husband and I battled a lot about this because I kept bringing it up. It was all so silly and crazy because I would never quit my job. Ever. I love my job. None oIMG_8956f it made any sense. We’d fight and I’d get frustrated because I didn’t understand why I felt so strongly about something that wasn’t ever going to become a reality. It didn’t make sense. I even bought Erin Odom’s book You Can Stay Home with Your Kids in hopes of finding some good tips. Why? I have no idea. There was no reason for any of this. Then I got the news. In two weeks, I wouldn’t have a job anymore. Suddenly it all made sense. The Lord was preparing my heart for this for months and I didn’t even know it. He was preparing my husband for this conversation and preparing our household for what was to come and we didn’t even realize it. The days to follow were stressful. My husband very clearly knew the desires of my heart but the protector and provider in him was having a hard time coming to grips with losing an entire income. I prayed and begged and pleaded. I prayed a lot. I sought a lot. For the first time in a long time, maybe even ever, I listened. I listened with all that I had. I updated my resume. The Lord said no. I began to search for and apply for jobs. The Lord said no. I begged for clear and concise answers. I’m pretty sure God laughed at that. Well, maybe I can just work part time. The Lord said no again. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! Focus on your family. But, Lord, focusing on my family doesn’t make any money. Trust me. I will provide. I kept praying. I prayed and I prayed. All of a sudden, I felt this amazing peace. There was no fear. I knew there would be many sacrifices but I was ready and willing. I felt free. I felt excited. I had no idea what the Lord had planned – to be honest, I still don’t – but I know He has a mighty plan for my family.

The blessings started pouring in. The Lord was providing! Just like He said He would. I somehow managed to cut our grocery budget in half and now we’re eating better than we ever have before. How? I have no idea. I bought the same groceries I always do and yet this time they were a lot cheaper. I can’t explain it. Our phone bill was due to be dropped by $40 that month because they would both be paid off now. My bosses were extremely gracious and paid me for 4 weeks after I was done working. Little things began happening. Random free items, random discounts, bills that should have been more that were way cheaper than we could’ve imagined. Our eyes were opened. The Lord was providing. He wasn’t dropping hundreds of dollars from the sky but little by little, He was showing us just how powerful and mighty His great plan is.

Trust in Him. Even on the darkest of days, trust in Him. Give it all to Him. Listen. Trust. Believe. Seek. Pray. Worship. Know that the Lord will provide. And even though it may not be what you thought or look like what you wanted, know that He has the most incredible plan imaginable in the works. You just have to be ready to step out in faith and trust that He has a hold of you. He will always pave the way and go before us, we just have to trust and have a little faith.

Why self-care is so important.

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Mom. Mommy. Mother. Momma. Madre. Mum. Mama. Mummy. So many titles for one extraordinary person.

Moms put everyone before themselves. There’s a running joke lately that talks about how many times moms have to reheat their cup of coffee because they’re too busy to drink it or they forget about it. I even saw something the other day where a mom said she just prefers it cold now – which for me, ironically, is now true.

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It’s currently 3:20pm and I’m sitting on the floor with my 5 month old next to me as I continually bounce her in the bouncer in hopes that she’ll fall asleep for the first time today. She won’t. But I’m trying anyways. I stop to type and she rings out again so I start bouncing again. The cycle continues. She’s been fed, changed, I gave her gripe water and Tylenol for her mean old teeth, all that’s left to do is sleep. But she won’t. As I sit with my naked face because I didn’t have time to put on makeup today and my “mom bun,” I look down at my unshaven legs and my leftover pink nail polish from my last pedicure that was in October of last year. Wow. I try to think of the last time I had a hair cut or color as my grays are growing with a vengeance. I can’t remember. I was pregnant at the time and my baby is now 5 months old. Yikes.

Self-care. It’s a phrase we hear a lot but do we do it a lot? I sure don’t. I tell my husband all the time I want to do this or that but I never get it done. I’m always so busy chasing my toddler or nursing the baby. I’ve “needed a hair cut” for the past few months. I even messaged a friend about getting in to get my hair done but I never followed through. Why do we always put ourselves last? As moms, we have to wear so many hats but sometimes I think we forget that we were a person before we were a mom. I was Alli long before I was Brandon’s wife or Quinn and Audrey’s mom. You may think this sounds selfish and that’s the stigma I’m trying to break. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. You can’t pour into others if your cup isn’t full. I always think of the “you have to put your oxygen mask on before helping others if the plane is going down” analogy. Have you ever tried to pour water from an empty cup? It doesn’t work very well.

Self-care doesn’t have to be a 7 hour trip to the spa or a mani/pedi or anything fancy. It can be waking up 15 minutes before your kids and drinking your coffee hot and scrolling through Facebook or reading your Bible. It can be as simple as ordering your favorite takeout or running through and grabbing a coffee. It can be as simple as doing a movie day so you can relax with your sweet kiddos. Take a break. Take a shower. Take 15 minutes for yourself every day. You deserve it. You’re worth it.

When the days go by slow, but the years are so fast.

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IMG_5280Oh momma, just yesterday your sweet baby was trying baby food for the first time or rolling over for the first time or smiling for the first time. Now they’re saying words or sentences or headed off to school. Where did the time go? You must’ve blinked.

In the midst of the day to day, the days seem to drag on. Breakfast goes so slowly, naptime can’t seem to get here soon enough. That is, if they even decide to take a nap today. Snack time, dinner time, bath time, jammies, books, prayers, lights out. It all seems to pile up and yet the days drag on and you can’t wait until their sweet little heads hit the pillow, so you can have a break. Then the next day, you do it all over again. You do this every day. The days drag on. Then one day you look at your baby. I mean, really look at them and they look a little different. Your baby girl is starting to lose that baby chub and your sweet boy knows all of his colors. It seems like it happens overnight but really, it’s been a year. How did that happen? It seems like we long for the days where they can talk to us and tell us what’s wrong but when those days happen, we miss the baby snuggles. I’ve always heard the saying, “The days are long, but the years are short.” I don’t know that there’s a truer statement that depicts the woes of motherhood so well.

We long for bedtime. We long for the weekend. We long for 5pm when daddy comes home. We long for date night. We long for the time we’re not so tired. We long for someday. And then, eventually someday is here and we long for those sweet, precious moments again. We long for them to fit perfectly in our arms and not sprawl across our body. We long for the tiny giggle from baby’s first tickle. We long for the late night snuggles and the stillness of our quiet house. Now they’re big. They run and scream and laugh and play. They don’t need us quite as much. They shake it off instead of running to mommy for the boo-boo healing kiss. They can tell us exactly what they need instead of mommy snuggling the cries away. They can walk and run on their own without needing our hands to steady and guide them. It goes by in a blink. Through the tired eyes, the days of unwashed hair and sleepless nights, we found joy in their babyhood. We found joy in their little cries and their faith that mommy and daddy will make it all better. We found so much joy in the little things, the little them. And now, they’re big.

The days are long, but the years are oh so short.

The Space Between

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I’ve loved reading and writing my entire life. I’ve had a blog for about 7 years. I’ve tried all sorts of different avenues in blogging. My journey as a vegetarian (lasted about 6 months), my nanny adventures, my fitness journey, my pregnancy story, and so on. None of those avenues lasted and they weren’t truly me. This blog however, is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. It will be real, raw, genuine, unedited. It took me a while to come up with a name that really spoke to me and really highlighted what I wanted my purpose to be behind this adventure. I consulted the three people who know me best and the most creative people I know. My husband and my parents. It took a few days of pondering and shooting down ideas to find the perfect title and something that exemplified exactly what I wanted to accomplish in my hope to reach other moms and wives. The space between. In the midst of being a mom, wife, sister, friend, daughter, follower of Christ, nanny, chef, chauffeur, “doctor,” oil fanatic, avid shopper, coffee addict and so much more, there is life. Life is the space between it all. It’s what happens in the cracks of this crazy life. Through the exhaustion, dirty diapers, laundry and the monotony of daily life – there lies the space between.