The Space Between

For the women trying to live life in the space between it all.

Monthly Archives: May 2018

To the momma of the strong-willed child.

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Strong-willed. Stubborn. Spirited. Wild child. Fiery. Free Spirit. Marches to their own beat. There’s so many other words and phrases I could use to describe the incredible nature that is the strong-willed child. You will love them, admire them, get frustrated with them, underestimate them, fight with them, appreciate them, respect them, and so much more. And yet, you have to keep feeding that flame, you can’t squander it. You have to allow that fire to grow. The fire that makes them who they are. The fire that will get them so far in life. How do you think all of the great leaders achieved all they have? They’re the go getters. The wild ones. The ones who don’t follow each rule and who push back when they don’t agree. The ones who question everything and pave their own way. The ones who don’t conform to “normal.” They change the world. They make a difference.

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I know it’s hard – trust me, I really do. I know some days you want to rip your hair out because you’re so frustrated and discouraged. I know some days you question if you’re doing what you’re supposed to in parenting them. I know some days you contemplate tossing them out the window – don’t lie, you know you have. I know some days you hide in the bathroom just for a break from the bossiness. But I also know that you have all the equipment you need to raise that amazing child. I know you sometimes lay awake at night wondering who they’ll be when they get older. I know sometimes you wonder if you’re a strong enough mom for them. I know sometimes you just sit and watch them because you’re in awe of the person they are at such a young age. I know you get defensive when the person at the grocery store makes the “Oh you’re in trouble” or “They’re a troublemaker” comment, because you know you’re not in trouble. You know that even in the midst of the toughest and most challenging days that your sweet baby while yes, very strong-willed is so wonderful and capable and is going to turn into the most incredible adult. (Once you survive the teen years, that is.)

At the end of the day, all you can do is embrace the persistence and determination within your child. It will serve them extremely well in the future. Perseverance. Willpower. Tenacity. Drive. These are all words that could be used to describe great leaders, the world changers, and our strong-willed child. The world needs people like this. The world needs children like this. The strong-willed ones are the ones capable of changing the world. Let them.

I’m going to leave you with this quote from the late Steve Jobs.

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Can we just all be super moms?

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I’m a chewy, granola, crunchy, silky, helicopter, unicorn mom.

Oh, the labels. There are SO many ways to parent your child nowadays. I’ve been a mom for a mere 2.5 years and so much has changed since my first was born. I feel like we so easily label moms as something and then that’s who they are. You’re either crunchy or silky. What about those of us in between?

I formula fed my first and am breastfeeding my second. That alone makes me scrunchy. What? It’s all so confusing. I make my own baby food, except prunes – prunes, I buy. I cloth diaper and use cloth wipes – yay environment! I baby wear. I don’t co-sleep. I vaccinate. I use essential oils (a lot!) but I also use Tylenol and ibuprofen. We buy a lot of organic food but we also eat Goldfish. We extended rear face. I chase my kid around the playground with sunscreen and hand sanitizer, reapplying as needed. No shame in my pale, germ-free game. I combo fed both of my kids with purees AND baby led weaning. *gasp* No! Yes, I did. It worked great for us. We play outside a lot but we also have a lot of movie days. We do a lot of crafts but we also sometimes do nothing. I try to cook all meals from scratch but sometimes we have a frozen pizza. I had an epidural for both deliveries – I don’t regret it at all. I really wanted to have a home birth but my husband said no…and as it turned out if I had, I probably would’ve died. I don’t spank but sometimes I yell. I count to three a lot and say, “Use your big girl words” way more than anyone ever should.

My point is that NO mom is the same. Everybody raises their kiddos differently. These mom labels are great and all but we all really just need to do what’s best for our families and our kiddos. I think the fact that I fit into six different mom “categories” proves that. And these are just the first ones I could think of. I’m sure there are more. It doesn’t matter where you fit in, or if you even fit into any at all. What matters is you’re doing the best you can and what’s best for you and your sweet angels. Just keep being a super mom. That’s the only label that matters. Keep going, momma! You’re doing great.

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For when you tried your best.

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Oh sweet momma, today you rocked it. You kept the kids busy. You didn’t turn on the TV once. You painted, you danced, you played doctor, you played with playdough, you colored a card for someone who’s sick, you let them paint some more, you kept your cool, you didn’t let the series of unfortunate events get to you. Thing after thing happened but you didn’t break. Not today, Satan. Nothing seems to go right but you’re trying your hardest to make the best of it. But you’re only human and you’re only one person so naturally, it gets to you. Time for a mini meltdown. Or a huge one. Doesn’t matter.

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Why do I even try? Why is this so hard? Why can’t things just go how I want them to for once? Why does it seem like the universe is against me? Why can’t this just be easy?

 I have had those days. Trust me, I’ve had them. However, tomorrow is a new day. You get to start over again! Looking back, I know we had hard days when my second was first born and even my first was born, but I truly cannot remember the details of them. I can’t remember a specific bad day. I remember the good ones, oh do I remember the good ones! But the bad ones? Not so much. This is just a moment. An hour. A day. A week. A season. It always gets better. Sip on some coffee, snuggle with your kiddos and know that tomorrow will be better. Each day holds new hope and promises. You’ve got this.

You are capable. You are amazing. You are super mom. You are radiant. You are a rock star. (You totally rock!) You are incredible. You’ve. Got. This.

My first week as a stay at home mom was a nightmare.

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I’m going to preface this by saying, I’m SO thankful I get to stay at home with my kids. It’s such an answer to many prayers and truly a blessing for us. However, I expected our first week to be sunshine and rainbows and it wasn’t. Not. Even. Close. It doesn’t even make any sense because I stayed home before, I just had additional kids to watch. You’d think it’d be easier! Nope. It wasn’t. My kids lost their routine. They lost their friends. Now we wake up when we want, we eat when we want. We’ve been doing the same thing every day for a long time and now everything is changing. Why did I decide to use this huge adjustment and transition period to potty train my two year old? Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment because holy moly it was the worst idea I’ve ever had.

It’ll be so great. I’ll be able to clean my house and go outside all the time and potty train Audrey and have dinner on the table when my husband comes home. The laundry will always be caught up and I’ll be able to meal prep and make gourmet breakfasts. What was I thinking? Why did I think this would be easy?

Audrey is a mess because she’s trying to adjust to a completely new day to day life and Quinn has done nothing but scream and cry all day every day since Monday. Genius idea to schedule 6 month shots that first week. Good job, Alli.

My poor husband didn’t come home to a clean house or a meal on the table or a happy wife. He came home to a tornado of a house after Hurricane Alli came through trying to do her home cooked meals and a shell of a very defeated wife. I haven’t even had time to write a blog post until now because I’ve been so busy adjusting and figuring things out.

I’m going to share a screenshot of a text my amazing husband sent me and hopefully he doesn’t get mad – just kidding, he won’t! I’m so thankful for his encouragement and support. He has made this difficult transition much easier with his encouraging words and being willing to clean our disaster house after his long work days.

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Can we all sing together? What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. Good job, guys! But seriously, how awesome is he?! I’m such a lucky lady!

Stay at home moms, I don’t know how you do it! We just finished up week 2 and it was much better but not any easier. My house is still a wreck. I’m hoping the ability to balance things and juggle will come with time. It does, right?!

When the Lord provides.

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For the past few months it’s been laid on my heart that I’m being called to be a stay at home mom. I’ll be perfectly honest, my husband and I battled a lot about this because I kept bringing it up. It was all so silly and crazy because I would never quit my job. Ever. I love my job. None oIMG_8956f it made any sense. We’d fight and I’d get frustrated because I didn’t understand why I felt so strongly about something that wasn’t ever going to become a reality. It didn’t make sense. I even bought Erin Odom’s book You Can Stay Home with Your Kids in hopes of finding some good tips. Why? I have no idea. There was no reason for any of this. Then I got the news. In two weeks, I wouldn’t have a job anymore. Suddenly it all made sense. The Lord was preparing my heart for this for months and I didn’t even know it. He was preparing my husband for this conversation and preparing our household for what was to come and we didn’t even realize it. The days to follow were stressful. My husband very clearly knew the desires of my heart but the protector and provider in him was having a hard time coming to grips with losing an entire income. I prayed and begged and pleaded. I prayed a lot. I sought a lot. For the first time in a long time, maybe even ever, I listened. I listened with all that I had. I updated my resume. The Lord said no. I began to search for and apply for jobs. The Lord said no. I begged for clear and concise answers. I’m pretty sure God laughed at that. Well, maybe I can just work part time. The Lord said no again. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! Focus on your family. But, Lord, focusing on my family doesn’t make any money. Trust me. I will provide. I kept praying. I prayed and I prayed. All of a sudden, I felt this amazing peace. There was no fear. I knew there would be many sacrifices but I was ready and willing. I felt free. I felt excited. I had no idea what the Lord had planned – to be honest, I still don’t – but I know He has a mighty plan for my family.

The blessings started pouring in. The Lord was providing! Just like He said He would. I somehow managed to cut our grocery budget in half and now we’re eating better than we ever have before. How? I have no idea. I bought the same groceries I always do and yet this time they were a lot cheaper. I can’t explain it. Our phone bill was due to be dropped by $40 that month because they would both be paid off now. My bosses were extremely gracious and paid me for 4 weeks after I was done working. Little things began happening. Random free items, random discounts, bills that should have been more that were way cheaper than we could’ve imagined. Our eyes were opened. The Lord was providing. He wasn’t dropping hundreds of dollars from the sky but little by little, He was showing us just how powerful and mighty His great plan is.

Trust in Him. Even on the darkest of days, trust in Him. Give it all to Him. Listen. Trust. Believe. Seek. Pray. Worship. Know that the Lord will provide. And even though it may not be what you thought or look like what you wanted, know that He has the most incredible plan imaginable in the works. You just have to be ready to step out in faith and trust that He has a hold of you. He will always pave the way and go before us, we just have to trust and have a little faith.