The other night, my husband and I were getting ready for bed. I told him to go ahead without me because I had to pee. I walk into the bathroom and…disaster. Ugh. I forgot to clean up after bath time. I quickly grab the dirty diapers and dirty clothes strewn across the floor, wring out the wash cloths in the tub and pick up the bath seat. There was poop under it. Poop. I did that thing where you blink really hard trying to make sure you’re seeing what you’re actually seeing. I was. Poop. In the tub. I was so confused. Did Quinn poop in the tub? No, I would’ve seen it. Did Audrey maybe poop in her diaper and I didn’t notice? No, she would’ve said something. Did one of the dogs climb into the bath tub, lift up the bath seat, poop under it then put it back down? Probably. Just kidding, nope. I sat there confused and trying to make it make sense in my head how I could’ve spent 20 minutes giving my girls a bath and not notice that one of them pooped. Neither one of them had any on them when I got them ready for bed. There’s no logical explanation.
There’s a huge stigma in todays society that moms, wives and women in general should have it all together. We’re expected to cook, clean, keep the kids entertained, take care of ourselves, keep our husbands entertained, take care of our homes and families and apparently keep poop out of the tub all while keeping a smile on our face and looking seemingly perfect. We don’t ask for help because we’re either too stubborn or we’re afraid we’ll be judged. We live in a really tolerant society but so judgmental at the same time. It’s funny, isn’t it? Or maybe sad is a better word. Why is it SO easy to judge other moms? McDonald’s everyday? Bad mom. Work outside of the home? Bad mom. Unexplainable poop in the tub? Bad mom. Screen time? Bad mom. Formula feeding? Bad mom. Bad mom. Bad mom. No, no, no. NO. I have yet to meet one mom who has it all together. I decided a long time ago to embrace my inner bad mom. I used to be afraid to let people see I didn’t have it all together. I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t have it all together. I don’t know anyone who does. I’ve done all of those typical “bad mom” things. Yep. All of them! No shame. It’s no wonder postpartum depression and anxiety are so prevalent in our society. It’s impossible to be a mom nowadays.
Being a mom is so unbelievably hard. Sometimes it might feel impossible. You may feel tired, stressed, judged, annoyed, angry and a lot of other emotions. On your very hardest days – the days you think you’ve won the award for Worst Mom of the Year, just remember – I found poop in my bath tub and I still don’t know why, how or when it got there. You’ve got this.