The Space Between

For the women trying to live life in the space between it all.

Monthly Archives: March 2018

When the days go by slow, but the years are so fast.

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IMG_5280Oh momma, just yesterday your sweet baby was trying baby food for the first time or rolling over for the first time or smiling for the first time. Now they’re saying words or sentences or headed off to school. Where did the time go? You must’ve blinked.

In the midst of the day to day, the days seem to drag on. Breakfast goes so slowly, naptime can’t seem to get here soon enough. That is, if they even decide to take a nap today. Snack time, dinner time, bath time, jammies, books, prayers, lights out. It all seems to pile up and yet the days drag on and you can’t wait until their sweet little heads hit the pillow, so you can have a break. Then the next day, you do it all over again. You do this every day. The days drag on. Then one day you look at your baby. I mean, really look at them and they look a little different. Your baby girl is starting to lose that baby chub and your sweet boy knows all of his colors. It seems like it happens overnight but really, it’s been a year. How did that happen? It seems like we long for the days where they can talk to us and tell us what’s wrong but when those days happen, we miss the baby snuggles. I’ve always heard the saying, “The days are long, but the years are short.” I don’t know that there’s a truer statement that depicts the woes of motherhood so well.

We long for bedtime. We long for the weekend. We long for 5pm when daddy comes home. We long for date night. We long for the time we’re not so tired. We long for someday. And then, eventually someday is here and we long for those sweet, precious moments again. We long for them to fit perfectly in our arms and not sprawl across our body. We long for the tiny giggle from baby’s first tickle. We long for the late night snuggles and the stillness of our quiet house. Now they’re big. They run and scream and laugh and play. They don’t need us quite as much. They shake it off instead of running to mommy for the boo-boo healing kiss. They can tell us exactly what they need instead of mommy snuggling the cries away. They can walk and run on their own without needing our hands to steady and guide them. It goes by in a blink. Through the tired eyes, the days of unwashed hair and sleepless nights, we found joy in their babyhood. We found joy in their little cries and their faith that mommy and daddy will make it all better. We found so much joy in the little things, the little them. And now, they’re big.

The days are long, but the years are oh so short.

Poop in the Tub

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23658923_10159604866015483_1742143518331014243_nThe other night, my husband and I were getting ready for bed. I told him to go ahead without me because I had to pee. I walk into the bathroom and…disaster. Ugh. I forgot to clean up after bath time. I quickly grab the dirty diapers and dirty clothes strewn across the floor, wring out the wash cloths in the tub and pick up the bath seat. There was poop under it. Poop. I did that thing where you blink really hard trying to make sure you’re seeing what you’re actually seeing. I was. Poop. In the tub. I was so confused. Did Quinn poop in the tub? No, I would’ve seen it. Did Audrey maybe poop in her diaper and I didn’t notice? No, she would’ve said something. Did one of the dogs climb into the bath tub, lift up the bath seat, poop under it then put it back down? Probably. Just kidding, nope. I sat there confused and trying to make it make sense in my head how I could’ve spent 20 minutes giving my girls a bath and not notice that one of them pooped. Neither one of them had any on them when I got them ready for bed. There’s no logical explanation.

There’s a huge stigma in todays society that moms, wives and women in general should have it all together. We’re expected to cook, clean, keep the kids entertained, take care of ourselves, keep our husbands entertained, take care of our homes and families and apparently keep poop out of the tub all while keeping a smile on our face and looking seemingly perfect. We don’t ask for help because we’re either too stubborn or we’re afraid we’ll be judged. We live in a really tolerant society but so judgmental at the same time. It’s funny, isn’t it? Or maybe sad is a better word. Why is it SO easy to judge other moms? McDonald’s everyday? Bad mom. Work outside of the home? Bad mom. Unexplainable poop in the tub? Bad mom. Screen time? Bad mom. Formula feeding? Bad mom. Bad mom. Bad mom. No, no, no. NO. I have yet to meet one mom who has it all together. I decided a long time ago to embrace my inner bad mom. I used to be afraid to let people see I didn’t have it all together. I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t have it all together. I don’t know anyone who does. I’ve done all of those typical “bad mom” things. Yep. All of them! No shame. It’s no wonder postpartum depression and anxiety are so prevalent in our society. It’s impossible to be a mom nowadays.

Being a mom is so unbelievably hard. Sometimes it might feel impossible. You may feel tired, stressed, judged, annoyed, angry and a lot of other emotions. On your very hardest days – the days you think you’ve won the award for Worst Mom of the Year, just remember – I found poop in my bath tub and I still don’t know why, how or when it got there. You’ve got this.

The Terrrrr-ific Twos

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Or maybe, the temper tantrum twos? I remember when Audrey turned two, my husband and I were ready for the “terrible twos” to start – we’ll say the terrific twos for the rest of this post. We were pregnant with our second – I think I was around 34 weeks pregnant with Quinn when Audrey turned two. We braced ourselves. But the “terrific” twos never came. Audrey was a joy. We got comments constantly about how well behaved she was. Everywhere we went people ranted and raved about our sweet girl. Theeeennnn her sister was born. Whew.

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I love my daughter with everything I have. But we’ve been struggling lately. I’ll be honest. I said I would be genuine and real, right? It’s not all sunshine and rainbows like the Facebook highlight reel suggests. There’s constant sass and attitude. Lots of back talk and hands on the hips yelling, “NO MOMMA!!!!” My parents laugh and tell me I’m raising myself. They say they can laugh because they survived my toddler and teenage years. My in laws laugh because they see so much of my husband in Audrey. I guess we had it coming. Some days I have grace and practice super mom-esque parenting but some days I match her sassy attitude a tenfold. Oops.

I posted on Facebook a while back because I was so in awe of Audrey’s sweet heart one day.

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I think you officially know you’re a mom when showering becomes an Olympic sport. Feed Quinn, toss her in the bouncer, start Bubble Guppies, then RUN to get your clothes and jump in the shower. Shower as fast as you possibly can while peeking out the shower curtain because you (think) you hear crying. Hurry and finish up and run back into the living room with sopping wet hair…only to find this beautiful sight. Audrey told me, “My sister was crying.” So she’s sitting there making silly faces at her to make her stop. My hair is wet, I’m out of breath but my heart is so so full.

Through all of it – the attitude, the temper tantrums, the sass (there’s SO MUCH SASS), the no napping, the pickiness, the “no momma,” and all of the not fun stuff, there’s moments like this. Moments where I’m reminded that my sweet toddler is just that – a toddler. She’s still learning who she is and how to control her emotions. She’s testing her limits and discovering the world. She’s doing exactly what toddlers do.

But even in the midst of all of the trials and tough stuff, I’m taken back to the sweet, beautiful moments. The moments where I see her true colors and the amazing girl she is. The moments where I realize that they really are the terrific twos.

Simple Easter Crafts

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With Easter just a week away (how did that happen?!), I thought I’d share a couple of projects we made today. We had so much fun! Messy, messy fun!

Moon Sand

2 cups flour
¼ cup baby oil or vegetable oil – I used vegetable oil
Food coloring if you’d like. Must be oil based or powder.

Add the food coloring to the vegetable oil and mix well otherwise you’ll be wearing it on your hands like I did. Oops! Add vegetable oil to flour and mix until it feels like sand. Add more flour or oil as needed until you reach desired consistency. Voila! Moon sand!

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Washi Tape Easter Egg

Construction paper or cardstock cut into the shape of an egg
Washi tape

Cut strips of tape for your kiddo and let them go to town! Easy peasy! And so cute!

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Happy Easter!

To the momma who feels like she’s drowning.

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We’ve all been there. You’re at the grocery store or play group or the park. You see it coming from a mile away. It starts off small. A whine here, a yell there. Then, it happens. Your child erupts. You’re now the mom with the flailing, screaming child in the midst of the quiet. This has happened to me many times but there is one occasion that I can recall very vividly.

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“NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!” I’m sure they heard that scream in the next state over. As I carried my flailing toddler across the park to our van, I was 50 shades of red and could feel everyone’s eyes on me. I went from begging and pleading to bribing to talking through gritted teeth (yes – I whisper yelled) and back to pleading again. “If you go in your car seat like a big girl, we’ll go get lunch.” She didn’t get in the car seat like a big girl. Have you ever wrestled an angry bear? I imagine it’s the same as wrestling a strong willed toddler. I get her buckled in, spew my “Mommy is not happy with you” at her then shut my automatic door wishing I had a door to slam. I hopped in the driver’s seat and took a couple deep breaths. I wish I could tell you I felt grace in that moment. But I didn’t.

Grace. Why is it so hard? I struggle daily with grace. I’m hard on myself. I lose patience with my sweet toddler.  There are days I feel like I’m drowning. Some days I wonder if I’m even going to make it through the day in one piece. It feels like the days that things start piling up the most are the same days my kids decide to be unruly. Do you know the kind of days I’m talking about? The days that you feel like you might not make it and you feel so much pressure, you could burst.

The next time you have a day like this do one of these ten things.

  1. Call a friend. Vent, cry, scream, whatever you need to do. If you don’t have a friend you can call, then call me. No judgment here.
  2. Pack the kids in the car and go through a drive thru and get some coffee. Trust me, it’ll make your day better.
  3. Write about it.
  4. Pray about it.
  5. Hug your kids.
  6. Go for a walk.
  7. Turn on something to occupy the kids and go sit in silence for 10 minutes. Yes, I’m encouraging screen time. Momma needs (AND DESERVES) some peace and quiet no matter what it takes.
  8. Do something artsy. You could even involve your kiddos. Rage color, rage paint, rage put stickers on paper, it doesn’t matter what the outlet is, as long as you have one.
  9. Count to ten.
  10. Sniff some oils. (Essential oils, that is – I’m not condoning anything dangerous.)

Pick one of these things and do it. And remember, you deserve so much grace and so do your sweet kiddos. It’s not easy but it’s so important.

The Space Between

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I’ve loved reading and writing my entire life. I’ve had a blog for about 7 years. I’ve tried all sorts of different avenues in blogging. My journey as a vegetarian (lasted about 6 months), my nanny adventures, my fitness journey, my pregnancy story, and so on. None of those avenues lasted and they weren’t truly me. This blog however, is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. It will be real, raw, genuine, unedited. It took me a while to come up with a name that really spoke to me and really highlighted what I wanted my purpose to be behind this adventure. I consulted the three people who know me best and the most creative people I know. My husband and my parents. It took a few days of pondering and shooting down ideas to find the perfect title and something that exemplified exactly what I wanted to accomplish in my hope to reach other moms and wives. The space between. In the midst of being a mom, wife, sister, friend, daughter, follower of Christ, nanny, chef, chauffeur, “doctor,” oil fanatic, avid shopper, coffee addict and so much more, there is life. Life is the space between it all. It’s what happens in the cracks of this crazy life. Through the exhaustion, dirty diapers, laundry and the monotony of daily life – there lies the space between.